Fathers

"Honor Thy Father": Key Principles and Practices in Fathering

Sean E. Brotherson

How can I become a better father?

5 Fundamental Principles of Fathering

1. To Preside

In The Family: A Proclamation to the World, we read, "By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness." Fathers are responsible for providing spiritual guidance for their children. They should teach and counsel with them.

2. To Partner

Fathers should partner with the child's mother, extended family, the child, and the community. Brotherson notes that "the quality of a father's relationship with a child's mother is perhaps the 'secret ingredient' that makes the fathering recipe work best for most men and their children" (p. 143). Strategies for mothers and fathers in working together include "maintaining a positive emotional relationship, appreciating each other, offering instruction and accepting help, and making parenting decisions together" (p. 143). 

The book reminds us that "President Howard W. Hunter advised that fathers should 'earn the respect and confidence of [their] children through [their] loving relationship with them,' and suggested also that fathers should give children 'time and presence in their social, educational, and spiritual activities and responsibilities' and provide 'tender expressions of love and affection toward children'" (p. 143).

3. To Be Present

Brotherson states, "to be present in fathering is an act on the obligation to be there for one's children with your physical presence and availability, mental awareness and engagement, and practical involvement in their lives and activities" (p. 144). It's not enough to be sitting in the same room with your child, scrolling through social media on your smartphone. You need to be available to them in the ways that they need you and when they need you. If you're unsure of what your children need from you, ask them!

4. To Provide

Fathers have a responsibility "to meet a child's temporal needs and make opportunities for him or her to grow and develop" (Brotherson, p. 145). This is more than providing the basic necessities of life for them. This also includes meeting their needs of development, such as teaching children self-reliance skills.

5. To protect

Brother states that this means that fathers are "to protect from harm and equip the child to avoid and manage life challenges" (p. 146). This includes mentoring, modeling good behavior, and teaching skills that lead to a child's development.

Personal Application
I evaluated how women can be more supportive of men in their role as fathers. We can support and encourage their efforts.

Resources:

Hawkins, A. J., Dollahite, D. C., & Draper, T. (2012). Successful marriages and families: proclamation principles and research perspectives. Provo, UT: BYU Studies and School of Family Life, Brigham Young University.