Abuse

"We warn that individuals who . . . abuse spouse or offspring . . . will one day stand accountable before God."

The Family: A Proclamation to the World

Understanding Abuse in Family Life

Kay Bradford and Jason B. Whiting

What is abuse?

The Church states, "Abuse is the physical, emotional, sexual, or spiritual mistreatment of others. It may not only harm the body, but it can deeply affect the mind and spirit, destroying faith and causing confusion, doubt, mistrust, guilt, and fear."

What are the types of child abuse?

1. Physical abuse

This includes "observable bodily harm" and "substantial risk for injury or endangerment" (p. 251).

Brigham Young stated (p. 252):

"Bring up your children in the love and fear of the Lord; study their dispositions and their temperaments, and deal with them accordingly, never allowing yourself to correct them in the heat of passion; teach them to love you rather than to fear you."

2. Sexual abuse

This "is often the most hidden and secretive form of maltreatment. Child sexual abuse can vary widely in its range of problems and severity, but it includes abuse inside and outside the family, as well as contact offenses and non-contact offenses (such as exposure to pornography). It also includes sexual exploitation of a vulnerable individual and the advantage of age or physical maturity or both of the perpetrator over the victim" (p. 252).

3. Psychological abuse

This includes "degrading or rejecting a child, threatening harm to a child, exploiting or corrupting a child, ignoring a child's emotional needs, or isolating a child from appropriate interaction" (p. 253).

4. Neglect and deprivation

This is the most common form of child maltreatment and "includes physical neglect (inattention or delay in care regarding physical needs and hygiene, inadequate supervision, inattention or delay in health care, or abandonment), neglect of emotional and social nurturing (lack of parental warmth or appropriate social support and interaction), and education neglect" (p. 254).

What are the types of intimate partner violence?

1. Sexual violence

This includes marital rape.

2. Psychological abuse

This "includes a repeated pattern of demeaning, devaluing, and conveying to a person that he or she is unlovable, worthless, or unwanted" (p. 257).

Why do individuals stay in abusive relationships?

Leaving abusive relationships is complicated. It takes time to leave. Some victims are threatened if they leave, or threats are made to their children.

What are some other types of abuse?

1. Elder abuse

This "is typically defined as being perpetrated by a caregiver or other trusted person who causes injury, confinement, physical or psychological harm, or deprivation of care" (p. 258).

2. Sibling abuse

This can be difficult to define and includes physical, emotional, or sexual abuse. "[S]evere actions typically qualify as abuse, such as intense and frequent ridicule or intimidation; destroying possessions; extreme violence, such as punching or kicking; hitting with an object; stabbing; sexual advances; or forcing a sibling to view pornography" (p. 259).

What can we do to prevent and intervene when there is abuse?

*Condemn the cultural acceptance of violence, specifically in the media (movies, television, video games, etc.)

*Consider the effects of violence

*Advocate for public policies that support prevention and treatment

*Support and/or volunteer for programs that address abuse

*Support prevention interventions

*Know the reporting laws for your state and follow them

What treatment or help is available for victims of abuse?

Recovery is possible. Professionals, family, friends, and ecclesiastical leaders can provide help. There are many online resources available, such as http://www.thehotline.org/. Individual, group, and family therapy can assist victims in their recovery. Sometimes, medication can be helpful. 

Treatment may include PRACTICE:

Psychoeducation, parenting skills

Relaxation skills

Affective modulation

Cognitive coping and processing

Trauma narrative

In vivo mastery of trauma reminders

Conjoint child-parent sessions

Enhancing safety and development

But, most importantly, the Atonement of Jesus Christ provides healing.

Personal Application
I looked up resources for victims of abuse and violence in our communities and shared those resources with the group. I was struck by the seriousness of domestic violence in Utah and the statistics are frightening. I looked up resources on school bullying, as well.

Resource:

Hawkins, A. J., Dollahite, D. C., & Draper, T. (2012). Successful marriages and families: proclamation principles and research perspectives. Provo, UT: BYU Studies and School of Family Life, Brigham Young University.