Equal Partnership

"By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners."

-The Family: A Proclamation to the World

How can husband and wife "help one another as equal partners"?

A couple council is an excellent way for partners to communicate their needs and wants. Together the couple can set goals, discuss roles and responsibilities, and discuss how they can help one another. A good family council can follow the pattern the First Presidency and the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles uses for their own councils, as described by Elder M. Russell Ballard (2012):

*Set aside a specific day and time for the meeting.
*Create an agenda for the meeting and prayerfully review it the night before.
*Meet in a peaceful setting.
*Before the discussion begins, express love, concern, and appreciation for one another.
*Begin with a prayer, seeking inspiration.
*Discuss matters, seeking a consensus regarding the Lord's will.
*End with a prayer, dedicating your efforts to the Lord.
*Enjoy refreshments.

What is the value of a wife? Isn't she just a helper for her husband?

The way the Lord spoke of Eve in relation to Adam in Genesis has caused some religious people to be confused about the wife's value and role in relation to her husband. "[A]ccording to the Hebrew translation, Genesis 3:16 is more accurately understood to mean Adam 'ruling with,' not 'ruling over' Eve. President Hunter said: 'The Lord intended that the wife be . . . a companion equal and necessary in full partnership. . . . For a man to operate independent of or without regard to the feelings and counsel of his wife in governing the family is to exercise unrighteous dominion'" (Hawkins, Dollahite, & Draper, 2012, p. 40-41).

President Boyd K. Packer stated, "In the Church there is a distinct line of authority. We serve where called by those who preside over us. In the home it is a partnership with husband and wife equally yoked together sharing in decisions, always working together."

President Boyd K. Packer also stated, "There is no task, however menial, connected with the care of babies, the nurturing of children, or with the maintenance of the home that is not [the husband's] equal obligation."

"Research has demonstrated that couples who have an equal partnership have happier relationships, better individual well-being, more effective parenting practices, and better-functioning children"(Hawkins, Dollahite, & Draper, 2012, p. 43).

Personal Application
I asked several married friends how they work with their spouse to have an equal partnership. It was interesting to see that each couple had different ways of defining equal. Also, some couples were happy with their "equality" while others with similar "equality" in their relationship were unhappy. The perception of an equal partnership was more important than whether or not the couple was actually equal.

Resources:

Ballard, M. R. (2012). Counseling with our councils: learning to minister together in the church and in the family. Salt Lake City, UT: Deseret Book.

Hawkins, A. J., Dollahite, D. C., & Draper, T. (2012). Successful marriages and families: proclamation principles and research perspectives. Provo, UT: BYU Studies and School of Family Life, Brigham Young University.